Moving Forward, Back, and Standing Still

   It’s been two weeks since the last blog post, in which time things seem to have been moving forward in all directions (and at times, coming to a complete standstill).

Setting Up (A Quick Update)

    In terms of setting up my practice, I’ve been focusing on

• Meeting with an accountant: The common piece of advice Artists seem to be sharing is “Speak to an accountant, ASAP”, so I took the plunge and will be meeting with someone very soon. Hopefully they’ll be able to help with all of the queries still whirring about in my head.
• Training up regarding GDPR: Although this might not affect my Art practice as much as my Art Therapy role, I still found it really useful to know what kinds of data I can keep, and how I can keep it. This felt like it will become really useful when it comes to project evaluations/feedback/reports.
• Other Training: These have been more clearly focused on my arts practice, namely learning Print-making Processes, as well as reacquainting myself with a woodwork studio.

Current Work (Embracing The End)

   Whilst this admin/setting up of my practice is taking place, I’ve continued to sketch around the idea of Endings. This has involved a lot of drawing, writing, and reflecting, such as the below image which is part of an upcoming submission to Berry Magazine;

Embracing The End // Analogue Collage // 20x20cm

    This piece began around 3 weeks ago, when I saw two separate images that I knew would eventually come together in my work. I soon began to cut them out, but after some time stopped and didn’t pick them back up until recently. I couldn’t quite understand why I’d chosen to avoid finishing the work until I finally completed it a few days ago, and the piece (quite literally) stared me in the face.

    Sometimes, the endings we experience can arrive abruptly, despite all of our preparations and rituals to try and “mark” them in some way. Embracing The End evoked two things in particular for me – the first being that sometimes endings can feel like beheadings. Swift, brutal, and excruciatingly public (evoking shame).Secondly, sometimes when an end comes it feels easier to Angelicise or Demonise the thing that has ended, when in fact the hues of gray between these polarities are missed or shifted towards extremities. How do these distortions affect the way we inevitably grieve? Does it make it easier to mourn, or make it that much more difficult?

* * *

   I realized – after taking some time out – that I want to understand my own process of endings in relation to other people. I want to sink deep into the experience of interpersonal endings – the ending of communication, of relationships, and of lives. How do we experience being the person initiating an ending, or conversely, how to we experience being the person who is being ended (Ghosting, for example).

   To move forward with this research I need to move outward – meet and connect with others, share, exchange, and talk. In a way, it’s daunting – I realized that for this project to be authentic and accurate, I’d need to throw myself into it fully and allow myself to be seen by others, otherwise how can I expect them to allow themselves to be seen by me? It feels like the right time to embrace these feelings (fears, hopes, expectations) and run with them.

   So, let’s get these conversations going.

- Eve